Monday, October 8, 2007


Daniel is deaf, Daniel is blind
Daniel hears, Daniel sees
Daniel cannot feed or breathe by himself without aids
Daniel has Downs, has neuro disorders
Daniel is bright and intelligent yet wears a frightened veil
Daniel looks or hears around for stimulation
Daniel is hard to see through the tubes, wires, machines and pumps which keep him alive
Daniel is a premie, Daniel is full term
Daniel is all and none of these
I see your young mother stand by your crib for a few minutes
The first time in a month
And I catch that rare glimpse perhaps when Daniel goes for surgery
To sign a consent after she's been tracked down
I watch the mother shifting a donated toy in her hands
She is lost
She doesn't know where to look
Yet the distance between her and Daniel is so great
She looks down at Daniel but feels her presence is lost because he can't see or hear her
Yet he knows she's there
He aches for her to touch him even if she thinks the vent stops her holding him
It doesn't
They are his bridges to going home, nothing more
The touch he feels is from the nurses and Drs
When he's prodded for blood
When his nappy is changed
When they hug him for a few hours in the wee small hours
Daniel is bereft of toys in his crib save the ones I've left him
His mother does not touch him
I can smell her fear and want to go and hug her
But there's patient privacy
So instead I hug the mums who aren't coping but are there
The dads who sleep by their baby's bedside
Night after night
Desperately clinging to their child's life
I want too to hold Daniel so very much
I do not want to criticize the mother
But find myself wrongly doing so
Yet I want so much to understand
I want to help her
I want to help Daniel
For whom my heart aches every day
Daniel needs his mummy's love
His daddy's kisses
A home
A family
Please learn to love him for what he has
Not for what he has not
Please grant him that dignity and respect
Daniel is every little boy and girl left unloved at every Children's


yp said...

Your generous heart cannot help but be so beautiful. Yours is the wounded healer in it's finest form. "When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy." -Kahlil Gibran - it is also giving you overflowing love. oxo,y

mog-aj said...

So heart breaking for Daniel and yet so heart breaking for his mum. But most heart breaking is to watch this and not be able to do what your huge heart aches to do, to help and love them both. X

skeybunny said...

This is so beautifully said Catherine. I don't think you should be afraid to reach out to this mother--maybe she wants someone to talk to but doesn't know where to begin. As far as patient privacy goes--let the chips fall where they may. There isn't anything wrong with asking an open-ended question or two.


skeybunny said...
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ellen charge said...

how cruel u should go and ask if they catn look for a better fam such people dont deserve kids ive seen it a couple of times there was one girl who got put in hosp for no reason coz her mum and they jsut left so the hosp found a new fam maybe u should suggest that to the hosp think u should do that help parents figure out y they r so scared y ud b good at it i c ur love and instantly love u more each day u r a great parent and id hate to no that u catn help the bad ones with ur loving words love u hepas xxxxxxxx

Ericap said...

'By showing concern for others people's welfare, sharing other people's suffering, and by helping other people, ultimately one will benefit.....This undiscriminating, unmotivated and unlimited compassion for all is obviously not the usual love that you have for your friends, reltives and family. The love which is limited to your near and dear ones is alloyed with ignorance, with attachment. The kind of love we advocate is the love you can have even for someone you don't know, or who has even done you harm. This kind of love is to be extended to all human beings'...The Dalai Lama (addresses in 1996 &1973 respectively)