Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I didn't know

I didn't know the meaning of downy
Until I felt your skin at birth
I didn't know you knew all your school friend's names in sign
Until I asked
Nor that you could reach down and pick up a book and stand back up again unsupported
Until you showed me
I didn't know you could jump without aid
Until the music played
I didn't know there were 2 lights on in the car
Until you signed "it's the same"
Nor that you knew the origins of pain
Until you signed ow-wee at a tiny long faded scratch on your hand
I didn't know you knew the signs for cloud, windy, lightning and rain
Until the weather changed
I didn't know you knew about wipers on cars
Until the first rains came today
Nor did I understand the power of "yet"
Until you taught me patience
I didn't know the sweetness of your voice
Until a miracle in June
I didn't know of courage
Until you let me see
Nor did I know of defiance
Until you became a toddler
I didn't know you could tickle yourself
Until you showed me how
I didn't know you felt unconditional love
Until I saw your love for Callum
Nor did I know the best smell in the world
Until I smelt your hair this evening
I didn't know I had it in me
Until you brought it out.

If all these are things I didn't know because I've never asked, seen, heard, touched or smelt, I can only dream of what it is that you will continue to bring to this World and I can only feel emotions cement inside my heart that you are here for great things, Reuben.


Kristi said...

Absolutely beautiful, Catherine.
Your best yet, I think... I am in tears.

Geraldine said...

Those are the most beautiful words I've read! I feel really moved.

The Claytons said...

Wow such an amazing post... just beautiful! Chills up and down my body and tears in my eyes....

amy and mighty max said...

truly, truly beautiful catherine. you have such a gift with words...and with your boys! n

Kristi said...

Nor did I understand the power of "yet"

I've read this so many times now... and I find myself repeating this line in my head all the time.

It is so powerful, isn't it?!

(Perhaps Cassandra can make you a shirt... Never underestimate the power of 'Yet'

Anonymous said...

Hello Catherine, Thank God everything is ok now with Reuben, what a scare
for you both and great that you have such a wonderful nurse. Your poem to
Reuben was truly wonderful and I will be reading it to our mothers prayer
group this afternoon. You know some of them, Liz Pinder, Pat Duffy Joan
Allen among them, they all pray so hard for Reuben and keep you all in their
prayers. It would be such a life enhancing thing for Reuben to be able to
breathe normally and have his trach removed. Please God this will happen one
day, Those pictures of the two boys were fantastic, the way they interact
with each other and rolling about together and kissing each other. You
really have captured wonderful moments. Ace photograper you are. I will
send you some pictures soon. Love & hugs to you all. Mum xxxx