And sorry if it's hard to read. I don't mean to pull at heart strings, I just want to speak even if nobody wishes to listen or can bear to listen.
I opened the doors to the garden, the windows and door having lay shut for most of the week and it having been decidedly stale instead and it is a beautiful day, as I hear it is back home in the UK, so I'm glad for you all for that as you've had a rough winter.
Here Callum is reaching high and catching dreams. Never dare to dream and believe. Hope is a great healer, a great blessing, a great entity.
Callum is now asleep as we've been playing in the garden. When he wakes, I'm going to take him in to see his big brother for the first time since Friday. Yesterday, I took an afternoon nap with him and woke us both up in the big bed from a nightmare about spiders, my severe phobia. Kati had told me back then what that might represent, but no, I shan't like them any more! An early evening run around in the park together, and suppressed yawns from me, then a big shared bubble bath together. In the midst of this, I found great joy with Callum, just sharing. Have you had a bubble bath recently with your baby? It's utterly delicious.
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Latest news just in from Jason this moment:
The cultures have grown H flu. All this seems treatable along with the plethora of other things going on. Could this be to explain for his respiratory distress. We just hope it's the reason, not an airway obstruction (=trach). It's strange the things you hope for in our little world. Trach means surgery #16, 2 weeks in hospital and a life change back to where we were.
Things aren't changing too much, he's still on the ventilator at similar settings awaiting the OR tomorrow and potential extubation from the vent.
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