Tuesday, September 5, 2006

Pregnancy week 5: As sick as a pregnant woman

Beta test day, extremely tired. Day after, extremely hungry, then next day, abdominal pains most nights and terrible nausea set in.
Yesterday, my ravenous hunger which is there constantly despite eating all the time (I can't seem to leave the fridge) and despite my reading telling me I shouldn't be eating for 2, suddenly turned to nausea and cramping and head down the loo and all.
Woke myself up writhing around and found doing the yoga fetal pose, on knees, head down and a tylenol (ok by my Dr) finally eased things about 40mins later.
I assume this is morning sickness (at night?). My God, will I really be feeling this crap physically and this wonderful emotionally for another 3 months?
Went to my new ob/gyn, Dr Bo, yesterday after moving away from Dr Sam and his team. Turns out she studied with Dr Sam. She said that, I'm sure, with a wink in her eye. They’ll be no midwife and so I shall remain oblivious to the benefits of one throughout my pregnancy. My support team at the clinic includes Dr Bo and Shtarica (yes, her real name) and Dr Matsanaga. The choice of ob/gyn eventually comes down to which practice is accepting your medical insurance plan at the time, and that indeed has a tendency to change too.
Official 6 week scan isn't due until next week, but I've been feeling so unwell, not just the inevitable sleeping and day long nausea, but bad cramps and some pain when pressing down on my abdomen. I want to be stronger and to rejoice, but have only left the flat twice in a week now. There was such a small margin for early celebration, moments of shear bliss and the way the news grew first from me, then to Jason then to Dr Sam, then to Mum, mother in law, sister then here. Well, I'm so glad it happened that way. That Jason knew first and we shared those tentative early moments, utter bliss twined with anticipation.
Jason and I sat with the ob/gyn and went through my medical history, medical insurance and the financial implications of pregnancy in the USA (again, I'm blessing the good old NHS). She was asking lots of questions and I felt not only nauseous, quickly reaching for my ginger biscuits, but mushy in the head, so when Jason returned with some water for me, I burst out crying quite uncontrollably. Most unexpected and embarrassing. Had to lie down.
Looks like the pain is aggravation of my scar tissue where I had 9 fibroids removed last year and the twinges are some cysts from stimming.
At 5+2, the yolk sac was visible although it's too early to see the embryo. I have to say we're secretly delighted for ourselves that there were not multiple sacs but sad for the loss of the blastocysts whom I guess didn't have the ability to implant. That step in nature despite medical advancement, as Dr Sam says, continues to be hocus pocus. I just can't imagine my messed up uterus could deal with more than one, and though we will continue to try in the future for the 3 children we have always dreamed of, I think this was perhaps nature's way of giving the one embryo the best chance of survival given my wounded womb.
The other big news is that a c-section is confirmed because my uterus wouldn't be able to withstand labour contractions.
It's all pretty amazing, but believe me, finally joining the ladies in the waiting room with bumps was too surreal and it will take me a long while before I feel I fit in.
Boo’s length ¼cm

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