Wednesday, January 16, 2008

6hrs round trip to Children's

Even the spare Mickey sprang a leak, as discovered when once again I see Reu's stoma open to the elements. Jason back from work again, off to Children's, a 6hr round trip. But they were great and did a full work up, taking a trach culture to see if he needs to get back on the Cipro, xray taken, lungs look clear, good. Cancelled home appointment this morning with Early Start for Deaf as all too tired. Changing nursing agencies today, assessment at home this morning. Nasty invasive medical appointment for me this afternoon to look forward to. Double check on Reuben, yes, he's playing and happy and laughing, it's not in my imagination that he's a bright young thing and he's easily engaged, little effort on my part other than signing Wheels on the Bus, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Five Little Monkeys. It's strange. Text Yuka enroute to Children's for advice (echoing Amy's here) that Reu has his comfort zone and socialisation with other babies isn't in it, but perhaps with time. He's had a good night, thank God.

Desperately worried about things on a holistic scale. Infertility. Emotional pain of miscarriage. Financial. Reu's prognosis and fears. Inability to trust nurses. 2.5 yrs of Florida house on the recessed market in which everything is tied up financially and no optimism on that horizon. Most of our worldly things in storage, miss seeing that part of our history. Something's gotta give.


ypersico said...

oh my goodness Catherine - that you even have brain and heart space to consider so many issues is simply an amazing demonstration of your fortitude and stamina ... I don't think the world crept in on my awareness (except for in the "right now" moments) until Keith was well over a year old.....glorious that Reuben's smile will always keep things in proper order though, isn't it? great love always sent your way- yuka

Ericap said...

and the amazing thing is that none of this seems to phase Reuben, he is so resilent, so happy, so content...As for you, well you may not feel it at the moment, but you too are amazingly resilient and strong, just look at what you have just managed to achieve in your 'normal day' as a mother. You are amazing
love Erica

Eva Nichole said...

Hun I have been there and I know how hard it can be. The stress just takes us over and we are stuck at a wall and we can not seem to get through but then one day peices of the wall start to fall down and before you know it it is almost gone.
Hang in there I know its hard but I know you can do it.
Crystal and Eva

Polly said...

I'll echo what's already been said... your strength and ability to cope with what's come your way and what you still have ahead of you is more than admirable. I have problems and worries that sometime make me feel 'How will I manage to get through tomorrow... or the next day'... but they are nothing compared to what you have dealt with already and what you still have to face. You should be immensely proud of yourself and take comfort in the fact that whatever it is that's carried you through so far will continue to carry you forward.

So pleased to hear about Reuben's progress - particularly with the standing. He sounds like such a happy, interested and bright little chap!

much love, Polly

ellen charge said...

love u all