Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Tough day

Mickey (gtube) button comes out again, nurse late, Reu throws up violently and it goes into his trach so I'm left with the continual decision: suction trach or mouth, dirty diaper, urgently needs suctioning, new nurse is late (arrives and I instantly sack her. Don't have space for that), so I have to get Jason back from work to help out with the Mickey and take me to my (very enjoyable) baby signing class, but he's been in since the crack of dawn so has at least achieved something this morning. Can't pretend things are easy; they're extremely difficult a lot of the time. At class, Reu's developmental and gross motor delays are extremely apparent and that's not easy to accept when he's doing so well in himself. He's very sociable at home or when out in the stroller, playing with his toys, laughing, yet in the class, he prefers to suck his fingers and is thus unable to interact and play with other babies who crawl across the mat over to him or attempt to tackle his suction machine as his hearing aid falls off and I need to suction his trach again. Feel a little exposed. Back home, more throwing up, and again, which I can only hope is down to the repeated messing with the Mickey button.


Mary said...

I am so sorry about the bad day. When things are bad, sleep seems to help but that is not possible for you when nursing help doesn't come when expected. What is it with the people? They know how much they are depended on and needed.

You are a great mother and Reuben is amazing with all he can do at such an early age.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you and your little family.

Mighty Max! said...

I am so sorry my friend. My thoughts are with you. I totally understand what you are saying about the safety of home and how they act so social and happy...and then all quiet and "delayed" in public. Very frustrating because we want so much to not stand out.

I'm there with you, right there with you.

Take care of you...Amy

Eva Nichole said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you, I know its so hard to all of that and then on top of it all have things like nurses being late and all that happen.
Hang in there I promise it will get better.
Crystal and Eva