In or out

Today's appointment at Children's, the first for 4 weeks! was to check the Gtube site with General Paediatrics. A couple of hours getting ready to go and the long drive over for a hmm, 3 minute appointment to say all looks well.

However, 'twas a good opportunity to pop back into the PICU to see Stephanie, Rachel, Manfred, Tonette, Wayne, Ronda et al and show them Reu's new trick, standing. I forget they haven't seen the BAHA hearing aid before and so too, forget he's put on 3kg since his heart surgery and the PICU days.

So why then, after such a satisfactory appointment, as I'm sitting on Venice Pier basking in gorgeously hot weather on the cusp of the 80s which has brought out the bikini brigade and lads with bare chests (winter-grey skin turning to pink before my eyes), should the Mickey button for the Gtube decide to pop out. And there it is! Right there on the edge of the beach, my first emergency button change. You have a couple of hours to re-insert the button before the stoma closes. I guess this would have phased me had it first happened a few months ago but I've dealt with worse. Yet it must be pretty painful for Reu, having the deflated Mickey first pulled from his stomach and then having another inserted, but he merely grimaces briefly and within a few minutes, by the time Jason has arrived to help out, he's happy again.

That ordeal aside, I have never seen Reu so excited as he was when watching a flock of seagulls taking flight beside him. And later, listening to a crow's caw as it hovered beside him in his stroller. Reu's laugh is pure joy to listen to, breathy as it echoes through his trach, whereupon a big smile emerges on his face and his legs and arms wave excitedly. It makes me wonder at what point in our lives does it become odd to shake our hands and legs when we're excited. At what age does that beautiful and unbridled innocence of youth slip aside?