Tough day

Mickey (gtube) button comes out again, nurse late, Reu throws up violently and it goes into his trach so I'm left with the continual decision: suction trach or mouth, dirty diaper, urgently needs suctioning, new nurse is late (arrives and I instantly sack her. Don't have space for that), so I have to get Jason back from work to help out with the Mickey and take me to my (very enjoyable) baby signing class, but he's been in since the crack of dawn so has at least achieved something this morning. Can't pretend things are easy; they're extremely difficult a lot of the time. At class, Reu's developmental and gross motor delays are extremely apparent and that's not easy to accept when he's doing so well in himself. He's very sociable at home or when out in the stroller, playing with his toys, laughing, yet in the class, he prefers to suck his fingers and is thus unable to interact and play with other babies who crawl across the mat over to him or attempt to tackle his suction machine as his hearing aid falls off and I need to suction his trach again. Feel a little exposed. Back home, more throwing up, and again, which I can only hope is down to the repeated messing with the Mickey button.