Saturday, November 1, 2008

Aaaaaaahhhh... it's November

Where did the 9 months go? Suddenly we're 5 days away from bringing our new baby into this World. OK, I've had 9 months of vomiting, sciatica, pelvic girdle pain, terrible back ache, heartburn, empty bladder pretending to be full syndrome, leg cramps, painful contractions, not so funny rib tickling, health scares from 1:12 Downs risk to the cyst and fatigue as reminders, but suddenly, it's November and it's real. Auntie Lisa arrives today to take charge of in-home operations, I've cleaned all the base/skirting boards and dusted every top of door, every cornice, every drop of dried formula on Reu's IV pole, unfolded and refolded 3 drawers of baby's newborn clothes 100 times, allocated which of Reu's toys he's grown out of and meticulously cleaned them for Buttercup, held a big garage sale to raise money for Reu, written a rainforest of to do lists, devised a cesarean birth plan, packed hospital bag, desperately tried to capture Reu on film over 18 months (did I capture the moments? the expressions? the love? the development) and hopefully as of today, finally got a tenant at the London house and yet I'm wondering where the time went. And yet I've had no experience of what the book is telling me; to manage at least 8 to 12 feedings a day. My immediate question is how sleep factors into this? I have no experience of breastfeeding beyond a pump that delivered at best 3ml after an hour, nor of being wheeled out with newborn in my lap, rooming in rather than wheelchairing into the NICU with a catheter bag getting trapped in the wheels, no experience of taking a newborn home from hospital. It all feels like a bit of a panic as nesting manifests itself with bouts of obsessive cleaning and fatigue.

It took 6 years to conceive Reuben, from what was initially endless monitoring, to procedures, abdominal surgery, fertility meds, IUI and IVFs and a miscarriage and further treatments to conceive Buttercup. Never could I have believed I would be so blessed as to be on the cusp of having 2 children. Fly back to me 30 months ago and tell me the future. Give me hope back then.
Oh and November means I'll be 40 in 2 weeks time. It's all so thrilling but so scary at the same time.

5 comments:

Mary said...

Good luck! You will do fine.

Much love and many thoughts to all.

hannah m said...

Happy November! Catherine, you're on the cusp of such beautiful and amazing times: meeting Buttercup, growing to a family of 4, seeing Sweet Reuben become a big brother (what an amazing one he's going to be) and experiencing motherhood again from the getgo.

I can imagine the panic, but I can also see that you're preparing to enjoy some really special moments.

We will be thinking of your family, and will be excitedly awaiting news! Thanks for letting us peek in as the journey continues...

ellen charge said...

wow its so soon thinking of you and expect updates and photos galore xxxxxxxx

Anonymous said...

Perfect time for celebrating!!!! xoxo

jennifer.jaxonsmom@gmail.com said...

Perfect time for celebrating!!! xoxo