Aaaaaaahhhh... it's November

Where did the 9 months go? Suddenly we're 5 days away from bringing our new baby into this World. OK, I've had 9 months of vomiting, sciatica, pelvic girdle pain, terrible back ache, heartburn, empty bladder pretending to be full syndrome, leg cramps, painful contractions, not so funny rib tickling, health scares from 1:12 Downs risk to the cyst and fatigue as reminders, but suddenly, it's November and it's real. Auntie Lisa arrives today to take charge of in-home operations, I've cleaned all the base/skirting boards and dusted every top of door, every cornice, every drop of dried formula on Reu's IV pole, unfolded and refolded 3 drawers of baby's newborn clothes 100 times, allocated which of Reu's toys he's grown out of and meticulously cleaned them for Buttercup, held a big garage sale to raise money for Reu, written a rainforest of to do lists, devised a cesarean birth plan, packed hospital bag, desperately tried to capture Reu on film over 18 months (did I capture the moments? the expressions? the love? the development) and hopefully as of today, finally got a tenant at the London house and yet I'm wondering where the time went. And yet I've had no experience of what the book is telling me; to manage at least 8 to 12 feedings a day. My immediate question is how sleep factors into this? I have no experience of breastfeeding beyond a pump that delivered at best 3ml after an hour, nor of being wheeled out with newborn in my lap, rooming in rather than wheelchairing into the NICU with a catheter bag getting trapped in the wheels, no experience of taking a newborn home from hospital. It all feels like a bit of a panic as nesting manifests itself with bouts of obsessive cleaning and fatigue.

It took 6 years to conceive Reuben, from what was initially endless monitoring, to procedures, abdominal surgery, fertility meds, IUI and IVFs and a miscarriage and further treatments to conceive Buttercup. Never could I have believed I would be so blessed as to be on the cusp of having 2 children. Fly back to me 30 months ago and tell me the future. Give me hope back then.
Oh and November means I'll be 40 in 2 weeks time. It's all so thrilling but so scary at the same time.